"Just a Thought" Column continues in La Prensa of SA, 1-5

Just a Thought: “Dear Dad”
By Steve Walker

In my first four weekly columns in 2013 I wrote about growing up labeled as a “Dumb Kid.” It was disconcerting to say the least. I wrote in part, “Imagine the relentless repetition and reinforcement that no matter what you did or what you said, you were branded by your father a ‘Dumb Kid?’ or even worse.”

Having completed a full year of Sunday columns for 2013 to include 10 columns on local Hispanic Icons, I now begin my second year of “Just a Thought.”  My two year run of “Ask the Judge” column preceded this one.

Looking back to last year I have reflected numerous times on my life that I encapsulated during that series for La Prensa. I chronicled my battle to overcome feelings of inadequacy drilled into me by my father.

Dealing with low self esteem all my life I am far from alone being the brunt of comments like, “you will never amount to a hill of beans,” or “you will end up being a garbage collector.” And of course the big one, “you are a loser just like…“ (Fill in the blank)

Well a year has passed and I have hopefully moved on. As a part of my healing process I decided at the prodding of one of my confidants recently to write my deceased father a letter to address the hurt and anger I felt he caused, all these years. Taking the suggestion to heart I recently completed the letter.

Since writing has always been cathartic for me to put my feelings into print I am currently experiencing the relief of having written this long overdue letter. The letter is nearly three full pages.

While I can’t share the actual letter I wrote due to some inappropriate language, I will share the one I wish I could have written under much better circumstances. I wrote it with a positive bent as if my father had actually been supportive.

Dear Dad:

Well this letter to you has been 67 years in the making. It is somehow strange that I would write you a letter 28 years after your death in 1985. But like the old expression “better late than never.”

It is my opportunity to express my thankfulness to you for the support, love and reassurance you afforded me my entire life.

Whenever I felt down and depressed you lifted my spirits. You encouraged me to follow my dream whatever it was at the time.

You were the best dad by any stretch of the imagination. In fact you were unrelenting in your support which knew no bounds. I would best describe you as the coolest dad in the world. Your upbeat attitude and infectious smile, some might say, was one of your best qualities. It was a trait I hope I picked up and learned only too well from you. Thank you for that.

Most of my memories of you throughout the years have been extremely positive and I can honestly say I have always thought of you as a really wonderful human being.

You imprinted on me a “can do” attitude to allow me to think out of the box and again I am thankful to you for that. You were also there for me when I was voted “Most likely to Succeed” in college, in 1981 when I was elected President of the Junior Chamber of Commerce and when I was elected Balcones Heights City Councilman in the 1990s. 

I so wished that you were alive in 2009 when I was elected Judge. I know you would have been proud of me. Thank you for your love and encouragement.

Love #1 son

Steve

And as always, what I write is “Just a Thought.”

Steve Walker is a Vietnam Veteran and former Justice of the Peace and Journalist.