"Just a Thought" Column continues in La Prensa of SA, 10-20

Just a Thought: “Here I Am”
By Steve Walker

For the past two columns I have written about comments made by characters in the “Touched by an Angel” series that are currently rerun on a local cable channel. You could say I watch them ‘religiously” every week.

Made in the 1990s, the stories revolve around three angels helping people deal with every day life and assisting them in facing the problems they encounter with an uplifting message.

By the end of the show, everybody feels better and they make radical changes in their life to better their situations in various ways.

One of the main characters in another segment visited by an angel that touched a nerve in my life recently was about an artist who throughout his life felt abandoned and ignored by his father and art lovers who walked by his work in museums and paid no attention to them. As he related his experience he blurted out, that being ignored was devastating to him. He wanted to shout, “Here I Am.” (Pay Attention to Me!)

I can relate to that since growing up in a family of six boys, I being the oldest, felt not only ignored by my father, but berated by him for not being smart enough or not good enough like my younger brothers. In my first four columns earlier this year I chronicled my childhood and how I hopefully overcame many of my perceived inadequacies.

When the artist in the show actually cried out saying, “Here I Am,” I nearly lost it. It dawned on me that his expression of hopelessness was one I could relate only too well.

Over the years my way of coping with similar feelings was to quote actor Marlon Brando as the boxer vying for a title shot in the 1954 movie, “On the Waterfront,” by saying, “I coulda been a contender. I coulda had class. I coulda been somebody.” Those in my age group know the movie well. That quote makes the top ten most quoted lines from a film every year.

Ironically as I write this column, my long haired cat, Afro-Dite interrupted me moments ago by wailing at the bedroom door. As I stopped to see what she wanted, I realized she too was saying “Here I Am.”

Once I petted and hugged her and reassured her I was paying attention, she purred and lay down on the rug near me. Not only a revelation from a TV series character, but my own cat! Who knew?

As a retired teacher I encountered many students over the years who I know experienced the same feelings I felt growing up just wanting to be noticed. It is universal that we all want to be noticed, appreciated and loved by friends and family and even the world. But that is another column for another day. It is all in perspective.

Anyway, as always, what I write is “Just a Thought.”

Steve Walker is a Vietnam Veteran and former Justice of the Peace and Journalist.