Just a Thought: “Dear Dad”By Steve Walker
In my first four weekly columns
in 2013 I wrote about growing up labeled as a “Dumb Kid.” It was disconcerting
to say the least. I wrote in part, “Imagine the relentless repetition and
reinforcement that no matter what you did or what you said, you were branded by
your father a ‘Dumb Kid?’ or even worse.”
Having completed a full
year of Sunday columns for 2013 to include 10 columns on local Hispanic Icons,
I now begin my second year of “Just a Thought.”
My two year run of “Ask the Judge” column preceded this one.
Looking back to last year
I have reflected numerous times on my life that I encapsulated during that
series for La Prensa. I chronicled my battle to overcome feelings of inadequacy
drilled into me by my father.
Dealing with low self
esteem all my life I am far from alone being the brunt of comments like, “you
will never amount to a hill of beans,” or “you will end up being a garbage
collector.” And of course the big one, “you are a loser just like…“ (Fill in
the blank)
Well a year has passed and
I have hopefully moved on. As a part of my healing process I decided at the
prodding of one of my confidants recently to write my deceased father a letter
to address the hurt and anger I felt he caused, all these years. Taking the
suggestion to heart I recently completed the letter.
Since writing has always
been cathartic for me to put my feelings into print I am currently experiencing
the relief of having written this long overdue letter. The letter is nearly three
full pages.
While I can’t share the
actual letter I wrote due to some inappropriate language, I will share the one
I wish I could have written under much better circumstances. I wrote it with a
positive bent as if my father had actually been supportive.
Dear Dad:
Well this letter to you has been 67 years in the
making. It is somehow strange that I would write you a letter 28 years after
your death in 1985. But like the old expression “better late than never.”
It is my opportunity to express my thankfulness to
you for the support, love and reassurance you afforded me my entire life.
Whenever I felt down and depressed you lifted my
spirits. You encouraged me to follow my dream whatever it was at the time.
You were the best dad by any stretch of the
imagination. In fact you were unrelenting in your support which knew no bounds.
I would best describe you as the coolest dad in the world. Your upbeat attitude
and infectious smile, some might say, was one of your best qualities. It was a trait
I hope I picked up and learned only too well from you. Thank you for that.
Most of my memories of you throughout the years
have been extremely positive and I can honestly say I have always thought of
you as a really wonderful human being.
You imprinted on me a “can do” attitude to allow me
to think out of the box and again I am thankful to you for that. You were also
there for me when I was voted “Most likely to Succeed” in college, in 1981 when
I was elected President of the Junior Chamber of Commerce and when I was
elected Balcones Heights City
I so wished that you were alive in 2009 when I was
elected Judge. I know you would have been proud of me. Thank you for your love
and encouragement.
Love #1 son
Steve
And as always, what I write
is “Just a Thought.”
Steve Walker is a Vietnam
Veteran and former Justice of the Peace and Journalist.
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