SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the
road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK
OBAMA:
Let me be clear, the chicken crossed the road because it was time for change!
The chicken wanted change! Real
change! Change he could believe in!
JOHN
McCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to
engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of
the road.
HILLARY
CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the
road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure, right from Day One,
that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the
road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W.
BUSH: We
don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or
against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN
POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the
chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL
GORE: I
invented the chicken.
JOHN
KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was
the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am
not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL
SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.
DR.
PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first
deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem
on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid
he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new
problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from
his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his
life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON
COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY
GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes
and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA
STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing
order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die
in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong
dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of
chickens to cross the road.
JOHN
LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in
peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2013. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2013. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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