Wu Wu Jones says "You know it is going to be a bad day, when"

Words of Warning from Wu Wu Jones (photo)

You know it is going to be a bad day when......

• Both your twins forget to wish you a Happy Birthday


• You wake up face down on the pavement


• You see a 60 minutes news team waiting in your yard


• Your birthday cake collapses under the weight of the candles


• You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any


• Your doctor tells you that he has good news and bad news


• You open the paper and find your picture under a caption that reads, "wanted Dead or Alive"


• You have an appointment in 10 minutes and you just woke up


• You wake up in front of your co-workers


• Your five day deodorant pad is in its sixth day


• Your friend says you have a wrinkle in your hose and you are not wearing any


• You are caught on live camera picking your nose
• You get on a scale and the message reads, "one at a time"
• Your best friend tries to defend your honor by saying, "I can attest he is not two-faced, because if he was, he would wear the other one!"